A girl my age should have her career, a husband, kids, and a house with a white picket fence. I don't have any of that.
The One That Got Away
Eight years ago I met a boy who was my everything. I was 20 and he was 25, going on 26. We totally hit it off and just had so much fun together. We weren’t even together long but our feelings got the best of us and we were so in love. I never knew what love felt like and it was so good. Being young and stupid I left the relationship and let it be. As the years go by, every beginning of the Fall season I think of him. 9/30/2006 we met and starting dating officially 10/31. Even if that relationship wasn’t “meant to be” and he was “the one that got away”, one day I’ll find a man who will love me like he used to and that I have that same connection with. (No, I didn’t have that same connection with my recent ex. I thought about this boy from my past the whole time through.)
-I can’t seem to grasp why someone would be so mean and cruel and hurt the people they love and just move on with no fault.
-I want to fast forward life a little and be placed where I am financially stable.
-I miss the company of a friend.
-I ~need that type of company.
-Anxiety is hard.
-It will get better right?
-I need to find a date for my brothers wedding.
-Britney Spears is stuck in my head.
I never get personal but things just got real.
Sometimes when you think you’re having a rough day(week) you have to stop and realize there are way worse things that are happening in the world. I know I am not dying of an illness, living on the street, or in other horrible situations but life has been really hard on me lately and I don’t know what to do. Maybe it’s a test right?
Tomorrow I’ll wake up after this blog post and life will be like “Congratulations you have passed the week long test of endurability! Come collect your cash prize!” No? Sigh.
There’s a lot of life things that are just too hard to deal with: home life is hard, a friend who was supposedly close decides to end a friendship over Netflix(Seriously.), and I have to deal with my car being a P.O.S(piece of shit) and still find a way to pay the bills for it.
I work a job that doesn’t pay much with the only benefit is that I’m doing what I love and what I want to do at a higher level one day. (I barely started this job officially about two weeks ago and I can’t even be excited about it because I am so depressed and stressed out.)
So seriously? Life will be better, right?